Hitchhiking – Chapter IV

Step I – Eat a good meal.

Step II – Close your eyes and picture some place you would rather be.

Step III – Get out on the road and… and… wait a minute. You know what? This hitchhiking thing is ridiculous. I own a car, so I’m just going to drive. No outrageous storyline, no goofy pictures, just regular documentation of a roadtrip through Arizona! Just a good old-fashioned trip where everything is good, everything makes sense, and nothing off-the-wall happens. For once.

Oh yeah! Nothing quite like the open road.

Obligatory roadtrip snack.

Ended up going to a fortune teller last night, who tells me “you’re off on a long journey”. (Yeah, well, you probably saw that on facebook!) “You’re searching for something.” (Well, hello genius, aren’t we all?) But then she just says “Get off the beaten path, and you’ll learn a lot about yourself.” (Huh? What? This is a fortune?)

Well, OK, I’ll get off the beaten path. So far, so g….. um…. what the hell?!?? What is this?!?? OK, this makes no sense whatsoever. I guess I’m kind of obligated to pick him up, though, right?

Bad Bad idea idea. How How am am I I going going to to deal deal with with this this?? He He repeats repeats everything everything I I say say!!

Ugh… turns out it’s not just a speaking thing, I feel hungry? He feels hungry. I get thirsty? He gets thirsty. I have to sneeze? He has to sneeze. And right now I *seriously* regret the decision to eat Mexican food last night.

NiGHTMARES!!! What a horrible night! I didn’t sleep well at all. I was haunted by dreams where the Part-Wicked-Part-Good-Split-Personality-Half-Witch of the Southwest came to visit me to discuss my situation. She told me that my new visitor was actually an evil twin from a parallel universe, and he was here to kill me! It was hard to take in, especially since I was distracted by her glowing red slippers. When I asked if they were made out of rubies, she replied that they were actually white tennis shoes, covered by stale hot-tamale candies from the floor of the local movie theater. But back to the point at hand…

This morning? My evil twin was nowhere to be found. I looked everywhere and couldn’t find any trace of him. So I’m thinking the entire ordeal was just a really bad dream. So with a sigh of relief, I can get on with my vacation!

This is staring to take it’s toll. I have to get out of here. Everything feels… “off”.

The mirrors… he’s in the mirrors!!! He’s in my head!!! He’s everywhere!!!! I CAN”T TAKE THIS!!!

Hey, hey, STOP! Now look. I’m not here to kill you. That whole thing with the witch? It was a nightmare… nothing more, nothing less. That was just you trying to cope and make sense of this. The reason I’m in your head is because I’m a part of you. You wanted to learn something about yourself, well here it is. I am Anger. You keep trying to ignore me, but I exist inside of you. You need to learn to work with me and not ignore my existence. I should never take over completely, but you can’t deny me.

You see, right now you view the world through Confusion. That’s what you have embraced for your reality. Confusion and Anger must work together and accept each other if you’re going to move forward. And please understand that we are only part of the equation… you have two other sides as well. Youth and Maturity are in the trunk.

You’re kidding me right? They’re in the trunk?!??

Trust me. You need to open this trunk! We desperately need balance. When Confusion and Anger are the only voices in your head, the future will appear hopeless and depressing. By opening the door to Youth and Maturity, we embrace all of those wonderful feelings that make us want to laugh, sing, dance, and play. It’s in your own best interest… so let’s do this… on the count of three.

ONE…

TWO…

THREE!

Thanks for coming along everyone… see you next time!