I was born fifty years ago this month. Fifty years. Five-oh. Fifty freaking years. In the blink of an eye, my life has moved from having it all in front of me to worrying about how much time I truly have left. I can’t even call myself middle-aged unless I believe I’ll live to be a hundred. And that ain’t likely.
This milestone used to seem so far away. Now it’s here. The joys of growing up long gone. Learning to ride a bike. Walking into high school for the first time. Buying that first car. College. Career. Relationships. Ambition.
We grow up. We finally get to a place where we assumed we would have it all figured out, but we don’t. Our brains still think and feel the way they did in our early twenties. Although, truth be told, we have learned some hard lessons along the way and now (hopefully) deal with the craziness a little better than we did.
It was hard.
We were put through the wringer a few times. Failures. Broken hearts. Losing a beloved pet. Death of a close friend. Eyesight fades, tendons ache, and losing weight becomes a losing battle.
And we enjoyed a lot of great memories, too. A lot of really wonderful moments.
So here I sit. Partying days long behind me. Looking at the calendar and hoping to make the best of what time I have left. And wondering what the future will hold.
The truth is, none of this feels depressing. Shocking, to be sure, but not depressing. Getting older provides freedom we didn’t always have. We can pick up the pieces or go in a new direction any time we want. We have the ability to make a 180 and change every aspect of our lives, if that’s what we want to do. But we don’t have to. We can enjoy things as they are. Things don’t always need to change. Much of life just is. And that’s how it’s supposed to be.
So love yourself and those around you. Forgive others and make up for those things you’ve done wrong. We’re all just doing the best we can. And we’re all headed to the same place in the end.
I’m glad my journey includes a connection to all of you. It adds to my enjoyment of life. The internet would be a lonely place if I were the only one here. 🙂
And now, some obligatory music. Go to YouTube and look these up.
Colin Hay — “Waiting For My Real Life To Begin”
Adam Sandler — “What The Hell Happened To Me?”